A Tour Throughout The Whole Island of JTA’s World
The Tour, so called because its full title is a total pain in the neck when reading aloud, was begun prior the the beginning of the new millenium, and that decade making an unfortunate name for itself as the “naughties”. Incredibly faintly based on the title of Daniel Defoe’s “A Tour Throughout the Whole Island of Great Britain,” the book began firstly on JTA’s typewriter and then as an Ability document, typed up on his old 486.Early History
The early versions of the Tour, written, it is believed, sometime in 1999, were short, extremely derivative, and mostly pursuiant to some hidden agenda long since forgotten (JTA knows there was a hidden agenda, but no amount of hard drugs and fortified spirits could jog his memory as to what exactly the agenda was, or even if it ever achived its goal). What is known, however, is that the work in those days merely included a couple of innacurate walks, described in unecessary details, and a list of ficticious researchers from various real and fictional countries, most of which were alter-egos of JTA himself.
Presently, it seems, JTA got throuroughy bored of fiddling with the Tour, and gave it up, whereupon the entire thing was rapidly forgotten, with never a sign of the renaissance that was yet to come…
The Tour Returns
By 2001 JTA was once again to be found working on the Tour, this time with the intention of using the descriptions of places within the Tour to attract the attention of girls who lived in or around the areas he was now describing. It didn’t work, beyond causing them to look at him, smile faintly and then go off and join a group of other girls who would spontaniously burst into fits of giggles, but JTA was not entirely undaunted.
Instead, rather than giving up on the whole thing all over again, he further added a series of six vitriolic rants against things which he deemed his “pet hates,” in the hope that the short lists of arguments would give him the popularity boost gained by Hitler, without the bad press or the massing of European armies against him.
That didn’t work either, and so, in late summer 2001, the entire project was shelved for good, and is now buried deep inside the archives of The Statto-JTA Publishing Corporation from whence it seems unlikely to ever make another comeback.