Système International d’Unités
The Système International d’Unités, which is French for International System of Units, was an attempt by France to take over the World by changing the way things are measured. It is often abbreviated SI.It was a three-stage plan, starting with invention of a new system of units and concluding with World domination, but included the common error of omitting the crucial intervening step.
The standard was originally maintained by a selection of international prototypes kept in safe places around Paris, but many have since been redefined in terms of things you can find anywhere such as light, infinite conducting wires a small distance apart in a vacuum and McDonald’s cuisine.
Length
The French made a platinum-iridium rod the exact same length as one ten-millionth of the length of a quadrant of the meridian and called it a ‘metre’.
Mass
A lump of platinum-iridium alloy was made, known originally as the ‘Kilogramme des Archives’, renamed ‘International Prototype of the Kilogramme’ in 1889.
Time
Attempts were made to define a new International Standard Fortnight, the ‘quinzaine’, lasting some fifteen days. It has never caught on.
The ‘Prototype International de la Quinzaine’ is a room which, if you walk into, you will emerge, somewhat surprised, precisely fifteen days later.
Happiness
Philosophers and economists often use a unit of happiness called the util. The French have even made an international prototype of this, which comprises an average Frenchman who is handed a balloon with a smiley face on it every five seconds. His joy on receipt of this merry gift corresponds precisely to one util.